so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
