i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
