i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
