i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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