i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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