see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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