did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
