I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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