I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize