Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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