dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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