I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
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They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
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It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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