plz talk dirty to me
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
