Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
