I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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