I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the day after is always just damage control
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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