Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
