So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
