idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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