I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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