i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
