my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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