im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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