we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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