What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We need to get me chipped asap
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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