did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
