There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize