They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize