Moan for me like Helen Keller
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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