You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
