So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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