Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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