I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize
