there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
