Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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