Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
