i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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