at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
