I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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