its not stalking. its research.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need to calm my uterus...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
