He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize