Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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