how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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