I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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