you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
