First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
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The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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