You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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