It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
