I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
