How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
