In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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