Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Are my feet made of real feet?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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