based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
