Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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