Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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