she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
