Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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