you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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