Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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