What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
