I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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